Hi all! It has been SO long since I have posted because, duh, I had a baby. Clementine Lenore Poll was born on 10/17/18 weighing 7lbs 3oz. She has been an absolute dream baby & the most perfect addition to our family. She had such a special, intimate entrance into this world & it is truly a day I will never forget. I will share her birth story in another post, soon.
Despite her sweet & easy demeanor, since Clemmie’s debut, life has been insane. Having two kiddos is NO joke. Actually, having a toddler is no joke, newborns are all of sudden a piece of cake. I can’t figure out if I just have a really special, high energy/constantly on the move/daredevil/risk taking toddler that is making life so challenging right now or if everyone feels this way when they have their second. Either way, this phase of life is TOUGH but oh my gosh is is worth it.
The first 2 months were merky. I had some bad anxiety and felt like I was constantly drowning. Fox went through a pretty rough phase- he loved his new sister the first week or two she was home, but then he realized we were keeping her. Plus, he had just turned two, we moved into a new house & he transitioned to a big boy bed (NOT by choice, but because he was making a game out of escaping his crib). I totally thought we broke him- I would cry to Phil telling him I missed my sweet kid. There were several tantrums over wearing socks & not being able to have doughnuts for every meal. Everytime I made it out the door with both kids still in one piece, I felt like I had conquered the world. BUT, here we are, 3 months in, and I finally feel like we have come out on the other side.
Fox has started to like his sister a lot more. He loves to make her talk and smile. We have a good routine down- we get out of the house every day and are no longer having tantrums over wearing socks. I figured out that my crazy anxiety was due to a birth control I started, and I immediately stopped that (& am feeling a ZILLION times better). I no longer feel like my sweet Fox is broken- he just had to take time to adjust, but in reality, we all did.
I recently read an article on Cafe Mom & there was one line that 1000% spoke directly to me: “some years aren’t meant to be record-breaking, some years are meant to survive.”
It is 2019 and I am going into this year giving myself a break and trying to look at the little, meaningful moments in each day. I have two healthy, beautiful children who light up my world & I know that it can only get better from here. We are in such a sweet spot right now, and looking back, those 2 tough months were totally worth it to get to this point. If you are in the thick of it right now, I promise you will come out on the other side, too- it just takes time. I know at some point we will all look back and wish for the days that we cleaned marker off of the walls 6 times or that our kids ate Oreos for breakfast (both have happened in the last few weeks). These days truly are fleeting, so I am doing my best to cherish the moments. Even the shitty ones.
Photography: Ramsey Baker